I am not a machine

 I am not a machine

To the firefighters in their day.

I apologize, I am not a machine even if I wanted to be. As hard as I try I can't help being late sometimes when you call, but I can't run any faster to get to you from across town; It also happens that inconsiderate drivers do not move away, the children of careless parents jump into the street and the unconscious call us without need.

If I don't look well today, please excuse me, it's because tonight I didn't sleep on the phone, dealing with an accident, transporting a patient and taking a rabipelao from a neighbor's house, all in the same shift and that's why I didn't rest You complete the four hours that correspond to me each night.

My nerves are in shambles, my heart is racing, and my stomach is consuming me, because like most of my peers in the world, my body resents the nights I spend awake, tense, waiting for nothing too bad to happen, and if it happens that no one gets hurt, and if there are injuries that no one dies and if they die it's not you.

If there is an emergency, you see a man or woman who, without hesitating or looking back, runs in the opposite direction to the only exit, please don't call him crazy, surely he is one of mine, maybe me, without uniform and in contempt for our safety we went into the conflict to help, with our bare hands as tools and armed in the hope that soon the comrades would arrive.

If I faint during an official act in Bolívar square, please don't take photos of me and make fun of me, remember that until this morning he was working for you; And if I don't want to talk to you today, it's because in an accident I saw, smelled and carried broken people, and that is a "scenario" that requires hard stomachs and cool heads, some would say snake blood. Not everyone can do it. Many times no one wants to do it, and I do it because I chose to, but please understand that this "scenario" will accompany me for the rest of my life.

During the 24-hour shifts we share a lot with our colleagues who become brothers for life, and that leads us to be a second family at the station, we eat at the same table, we sleep in the same room, we clean the station , we practice together and put each other's lives in each other's hands with our eyes closed; That's why you can see us, even in the most difficult moments, exchanging a smile, which is more encouragement than fun. And although living together is pleasant and prolonged, I still miss the affection of my relatives, that's why you see me rushing home at the end of the shift. I need that warmth of home, recharge my spirits, heal my bodily and emotional wounds, so that tomorrow I can return to serve you.

Please excuse me for having a schedule that allows me to go for a walk on a Monday morning or go shopping with my wife and children on a Tuesday afternoon, that is a privilege that I did not ask for, and how expensive it is charged to me, because when the others are partying and vacationing, I am working and have no days off; Many have been Christmases and New Years that I have spent away from home and working.

If you are envious of the lack of routine in this job, you are wrong, you have to clean, train, cook, clean, work, clean again and do training with rigorous schedules; And if someone told you that it was fun to go out to attend to an always different emergency, I forgot to tell you that each one has its risks and consequences. Even rescuing a polled cat from a hangover branch has its dangers, and I have to face them with no preparation other than my training and the unconditional support of my peers.

We arrived at the fire station by different paths, and we became firefighters for different reasons, we all continue to be by choice, and that decision accompanies us throughout our lives; That is the answer to why there are no ex-firefighters in the world.

If he is a Firefighter, it is not for money, prestige, or adulation; neither are the medals, which do not exist for us; it's for the satisfaction of doing something very good in a world that looks very bad. I am a firefighter to show solidarity with those who need it and I do not choose who will receive the best effort from me. The alarm sounds, I run, I grab my helmet, I put on my boots, I get in the truck, I do my job well and I return with the favor of God.

Again I apologize, I am not a machine, although I would like to be; and it is because that is what we call our vehicles, ambulances, rescue trucks, tankers, bomb trucks (the unforgettable Campeón, Pavo peacock and the Apollo), which day after day and for many, many years, are faithfully there to accompany us in service; And yes, I would like to be like them, arrive on time, be tireless, iron and like a machine to serve you without rest, but I am only a human being, and a firefighter.